Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
