alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
