Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
