I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
