guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize