I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
