He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
