I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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