My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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