the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
