I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
