i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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