I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
