We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize