Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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