I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize