yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We have started to decorate penises.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
