sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
