Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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