is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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