Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
