my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
