he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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