last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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