My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
