Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
