ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
