i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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