Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
