sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
