I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize