Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
