Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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