I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
