I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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