I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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