can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we made out on top of his cat.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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