I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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