everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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