just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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