We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
