Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
