what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
