Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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