I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
