xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
