well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
