Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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