Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
