i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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