OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
