Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize