I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Less talking, more tequila
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
