some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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