then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
