I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
