Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
50% drunk capacity currently
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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