Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
