This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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