o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
