Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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