What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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