How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize