Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
