i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
