Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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