I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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