Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
