I love black thongs
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
