actually, I'm a sock model
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize