Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
