Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That accounts for only three of the penises
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize